


Sweet-Talking

by fraudoc



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Roleswap, Taakitz-ish?, in an AU with little thought put into it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 12:18:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8445565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraudoc/pseuds/fraudoc
Summary: "C'mon, my man. Use those dulcet tones to try and save you and your friends." - a very self-indulgent fic brought to you by a sentence and prompt generator.





	

"Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction."

Those aren't the words Kravitz planned to hear today, or really ever. Inky black tentacles curl up around his middle, lifting him up into the air, and in his paralyzed state (thanks a lot Lucas Miller, you asshole) there's not much he can do besides stare at... Death himself. He's guessing it's Death, anyway. The man across from him is dressed in a long, flowing black robe and holding a scythe, so who knows. He's also grinning at Kravitz while he rests his chin on the curved blade of said scythe.

"C'mon, my man. Use those dulcet tones to try and save you and your friends." By the Raven Queen, he's being serious. Probably, anyway- he could still try and kill them while he was talking. But it's something, and Kravitz figures that he could at least give them all a few minutes to try and break out of whatever Lucas did.

"Well... Well." He clears his throat, racks his brain for literally anything to start with. He'd be the first to admit that off-the-cuff flirting wasn't his strong suit. "You are, ah. This would be better if you could give me your name."

"It's Taako, darling."

("Taako darling?" Brian murmurs, the front of his nullsuit facing the floor. He's inwardly thankful that he landed somewhat close to both Sloane and Jenkins. "Do you suppose there's any relation to Wendy Darling?"

Jenkins, in reply, hisses at him to shut up. Sloane just groans.)

"Taako?" What a name. "A pleasure. Wonderful name. My name is Kravitz-"

"Oh, I know who you are! And I know your pals, too." He moves his scythe to gesture towards the rest of Kravitz' party, still lying prone on the ground under them. "You three are pretty popular where I'm from!"

"Really now? And where _are_ you from?"

"Astral plane, baby."

"Ah." Well, shit. Extradimensional beings were nothing to mess with, he was sure, but here Kravitz was, attempting to flirt with one at his request. Anything to give them a bit more time. "I hear the other planes are lovely this time of year." A beat, and he flashes Taako a small, unsure grin. "Not... Quite as lovely as you, however."

To his (and his comrades', he's sure, if he could see their faces) surprise, Taako actually laughs at that. The hand not holding his scythe flitters to his cheek and his head tilts down, eyelashes batting coyly. "Well! Isn't that sweet. You must know a lot about the planes, right? With all that sweet dimension-hopping magic at your fingertips." His grin widens, and the tentacles around Kravitz' waist give him a small squeeze. "Don't worry about those, by the way. I'm not gonna do anything weirder than this."

Kravitz, somehow, is able to wiggle himself slightly in the tendrils' grip. Whatever Lucas had done to their suits might have started to wear off. Glancing down, he can see that yes, the rest of his paralyzed party is beginning to slowly but surely move themselves around, reaching for their respective wands and daggers. He's quick to look back up at Taako, who apparently hasn't moved his gaze _from_ Kravitz, and curls in on himself.

"Do you do this to all the men you try to kill?"

"Oh, no. Just the handsome ones."

"And out of everyone here, you chose me."

Taako snorts. "You think those fools you're running with even come close to you? Asking why I picked you is like asking why I picked the one good apple outta the spoiled bunch. And that voice, too! That's what really drew me in." He pauses, shrugs. "Though I kinda like your other pal- Brian? I like his whole business. He's cool."

There's a soft, distant "thank you!" from the floor. Kravitz rolls his eyes, distracted by his compliments enough for him to not notice Taako come towards him, scythe tapping his chin.

"But you! You're really somethin', you know? Not just your voice or looks or anything, though I really do dig your whole everything." His scythe swings out and Kravitz gasps as it catches around the glass head of his nullsuit, tugging him closer. Taako's grin curls up at the edges, digging into cheeks that are starting to lose color and thin out. This time when he struggles in the tendrils' grip, it's in earnest, and Kravitz can't stop the fear that wells up in him as the other tightens his hold on his weapon. "It's all that, and how we should've met a long, long time ago! You've been holding out on me for a while, hombre! You and your friends, I'm gonna drag you back to the soul silo if it's the last thing I--"

There's a rip, a spark, and a bolt of light fires right at the mass of tentacles holding Kravitz up. They ripple and tense at the hit, gripping the body they're wrapped around so suddenly they squeeze the air out of him before loosening. Taako's head snaps down just in time to see Brian's wand-wielding arm raise to fire again, magic just barely missing his head as he ducks to the side. Jenkins, beside him, says something about his terrible aim before his own wand starts to glow. The reaper sucks on his teeth, glancing from the three armed adventurers on the ground to Kravitz and back.

"Catching you fellas would be really easy right now, but... Dragging three people back at the same time is a lotta work! And I don't really feel like messing with all of you at once, y'know? Maybe next time." A hand comes up, patting the side of Kravitz' helmet while he glares. His scythe pulls away from the nullsuit to rip a small vertical tear in the space next to him, and with a wink, Taako takes a single step through.

"Catch you later!"

With that, he's gone. The tentacles don't leave as quick, and slowly, they recede back into the hole in the floor they came from. Their hostage is left being loosely held amongst them until he reaches the ground, where he stumbles back onto his feet. Silently, Jenkins hands Kravitz his wand, and he gives a little nod and murmured thanks in return. The four of them stand there, three dumbstruck by the weirdness that just happened and staring at each other, the last one dead quiet with rage as she flexes her hands to get the feeling back. (Though Kravitz swears he can hear her repeat "oh, my God, I'm going to kill him," under her breath.)

Brian is the first to really speak after everything, clasping his hands together as he turns his head towards Kravitz. "He seemed nice! Besides the wanting to kill us thing. And that was smart, keeping him distracted."

"Yes, well... It was his idea."

"Something to keep in mind whenever he shows his face again. I do not think that will be the last time he, ah, comes up, in our adventures!"

"Actually I would rather we not try and repeat that, and get it out of our minds as quickly as possible." Jenkins wipes the last of the dust from the lab's floor off his nullsuit, glaring at his adventuring companions. Kravitz can't help but agree, and the three of them silently follow a fuming Sloane towards the elevator shaft.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading and sorry for the abrupt ending! i know this doesn't super go along with the actual scene in the crystal kingdom, but, whatever. i didn't think too far ahead or too much into this sorta AU. thanks again !


End file.
